I quit today.

as i was running into my office to collect all of my belongings and prepare for the weekend, uzy called me into his office. he asked for some help with the right wording in english. he asked if the expression to stand up to one's expectation is the right one. i said that no, and suggested a few others till eventually we remembered meet one's expectations.

***
it turns out that the israeli interior office is only open for three hours a day. no, seriously, governmental work means something different here. some days, they messed up and are open for four hours. yesterday, was NOT one of them. so i had three hours to get my identification card - which is equivalent to a resident proof in a sense. so that was my first step of making my stay here official in some sense. but also that wasn't really something i meant to do.

i just went there because sunday i have an appointment at a different governmental office, to find out about possible postdoc scholarships and they said i had to have my identification card.

so there.

***
there was a wedding yesterday of one of the students' in uzy's group and naturally the entire group was there. i had mentioned to one of them, excitedly, that i am now legal here! i even blurred out my now memorized identity card number.

the group congratulated me. uzy congratulated me as well. i bet there was some cynicism there somewhere, but i failed to notice it.

***
it just kind of happened. and the thing is, i didn't even mean to. not that i didn't mean to quit, i have been thinking about that for quite a long time now. i just didn't mean to tell him today, and definitely not while i have a ride waiting for me outside and i have to run, collect my belongings, jump to the printer, and then suddenly quickly break things down for him.

but that's how sometimes things are.

***
next week begins passover here. my birthday, naturally, occurs during this holiday, this year both of them in fact. this sucks, yes, as passover is also the holiday of matzah (=constipation) and that means crappy cake.

it is also known as the holiday of herut, that is the holiday of freedom.

***
i mentioned to uzy that i may not come sunday as i have a meeting about fellowships and who knows how long it'll take. he quickly synthesized this information along with yesterday's and asked, so that means you are done with cardiff?

i had to act quickly. i already knew what i wanted. so i just said it.

my contract started in august two years ago, so why don't we say that i'll continue till then?

ok, he said, that seems fine. you might have to give the university three months head notice as well.

oh, i said, could you also sponsor one last trip for me back to cardiff so i can close my office and collect my belongings?

sure, just do the paperwork.

***
now i am sitting at home, drinking a glass of lumbresco, leftover from one of my wednesday evening dinners that i host. writing this blog before telling anyone.

freedom.

it feels good. and it looks pink in a wine glass.